


Mollycoddler

by raven_aorla



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Avocados at Law, Fluff, Foggy lays some ground rules for Matt's activities, Gen, Matt agrees to them, One-Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 14:11:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3813469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raven_aorla/pseuds/raven_aorla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nelson & Murdock go over the list of things Foggy demands from Matt, with commentary, banter, and a new teasing nickname.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mollycoddler

**Author's Note:**

> Not my characters or 'verse. No profit sought.
> 
> I have so many fics on indefinite hiatus, plus an unfinished novel more than two years after the previous one was published. So I probably shouldn't have. But I binged the series in three days. Felt like I had to.

Foggy wrote up a contract, in his best legalese, for Matt to sign and then shred so no one would find it. Even with shredding, it made Foggy feel better to present his demands (okay, fears) in the realm where the two of them were approximately equal.

Matt explained that he could tell the difference between the feel of ink on a page and the feel of plain paper, but it took a lot of concentration. So, as Foggy read the original aloud, Matt typed up a shorter version in Braille. They sat around Foggy's dinner table with obscure beer and so-far untouched, cooling pizza to keep them company.

"I'll hide this copy with the costume and read it each time I suit up," Matt said, with such seriousness that it looped around to being a little funny. Matt picked up on Foggy's train of thought with one of his freaky (okay, cool when not directed at friends) tricks. "You're holding back laughter."

"Sorry, sorry, I just imagined you pausing to reread that, regretting your over-the-top friendship penance pledge, when you're practically hopping up and down in your desperation to rush off, kick names and take ass..." Foggy mixed the words on purpose, to see if Matt would get inappropriately amused too.

The world was a better place when Matt smiled in that way of his that creased around his eyes and abandoned overrated things like "dignity" and "maturity". He did that now. And there was light. "You'll like how I rewrote this version."

"The Cliff's Notes version," Foggy suggested, tugging the pizza box closer. 

"Abridged and direct, and also more true to our friendship, despite being vague just in case someone else manages to read it," Matt said. He pulled the list free from the Braille typewriter and cleared his throat.

...

 

THE MOLLYCODDLER MANIFESTO

"Is that my secret identity now? Doesn't really chill the blood."

"You're selling yourself short. Chills mine plenty. Or would you prefer ''Foggycoddler'?"

"Ew, no, that sounds like someone who's overprotective of low-hanging clouds."

_1\. The undersigned will go out on the town no two consecutive nights, unless he can make a very good case for how specific and/or lots of people will definitely die if he takes a break. If a night's activities requires help from McBurnerphone, the undersigned is grounded until the Mollycoddler deems otherwise, or unless everyone will actually really die and literally only the undersigned can stop imminent doom._

"This is why I draw up all our agreements with clients, dude."

"This is how you talk to me, though, and sometimes I need that."

"..."

_2\. The undersigned will inform the third party affected by this agreement of all relevant details within the next four months, to allow for research into the third party's background, and the pulling up of big boy pants. Despite the Mollycoddler's accusation of stalling, the Mollycoddler concedes that the undersigned has a point about knowing the details of even the most trustworthy person's potential to be compromised._

_3\. The Mollycoddler reserves the right to order the undersigned to take a nap. Even if this takes building a pillow nest inside a disused janitor's closet at the undersigned's place of employment._

_4\. The undersigned's efforts to retrieve his cane after he tosses it aside to break into athletics are commendable, but he should consider letting the Mollycoddler know the location as well. Maybe the Mollycoddler can fetch i_ t. 

"What if someone steals it in the meantime, right? I know you can't call me out on patrol or whatever, but you can text me when you get home and not wait till you're done passing out." 

"Texting is hard for me. I'll leave a message? That leads into your fifth demand." 

_5\. The undersigned will establish what he is genuinely incapable of doing. Otherwise the Mollycoddler's coddling will be even worse than it already is._

"I'll repeat this for you if you need it, but I'm sure you get why it's bad for you to write my weaknesses down." 

"Everyone knows you can't be trusted with necktie patterns that aren't plain black. Sorry to break it to you." 

"Gasp! My enemies will mock my fashion sense! Seriously, though, I can't perceive colors. If it's on a tv or computer screen, I function like a normal blind guy. I can pick up on things like nodding or hand gestures - though please keep narrating those for me in front of others; it's good for my cover - but I can't pick up on facial expressions beyond knowing that someone just made one. I know a lot about what they're feeling, but not what other people know about what those people are feeling. Braille is miles faster and easier to read. I can tune out pain reasonably well when I'm running on adrenaline, but when I'm trying to sleep or do day-to-day things I can't stand being in contact with rough fabrics." 

"I'll stop teasing you about the silk sheets and cashmere socks. That's gotta suck." 

"Sometimes. Um...I can't get takeout just anywhere, because I can tell if the staff don't wash their hands thoroughly enough before touching the food. It's possible I could ride a bicycle if anyone were willing to teach me, but it would be unnecessarily risky. A motorcycle would have the same problems, plus be loud enough to possibly make me miss other things." 

"Daredevil wouldn't be very intimidating on a bicycle." 

"Yeah, can you imagine? Driving a car is out of the question. There'd be too much of the tricky kinds of stimuli to keep track of. And I still don't know what people look like unless I touch their faces at least once." 

"Damn, I thought I'd cracked your hottie-sensing mystery." 

"Sorry to disappoint you." 

_6\. The Mollycoddler is allowed to start aggressively searching for the undersigned if the undersigned has not checked in within 24 hours._

"Let's not talk about that one right now." (Not exactly simultaneous, but close enough.)

_7\. The undersigned will keep a well-stocked first aid kit at home, and replenish it on no less than a monthly basis._

_8\. If the undersigned takes a spectacularly stupid risk, the Mollycoddler reserves the right to sell his record collection on eBay._

_9\. The undersigned will take confession frequently, since therapists pose practical problems, and at least this way he addresses a few of his deep-seated emotional issues._

_10\. The undersigned will always have the most updated tentanus shots possible._

"The Mollycoddler has been pacified. For now. Eat your pizza." 

"Sir, yes sir."

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are like my favorite thing ever, so please consider leaving one.


End file.
